A Glimpse Behind Each Song, Vol. 1

This is a quick look behind the curtain on every track I have on Spotify so far. Where the ideas came from, what I was feeling, and what was going through my head when I made them.

"make you" - I had a sample of an unreleased song with a kind of chill pluggnb, soft cloud trap vibe, and chopped up the vocals from there. I really loved one section of those vocals, so that became the driving element of the whole song for me. I also chose chords that make me feel a certain way, the kind I gravitate toward with songs like this. I couldn't quite place my finger on exactly why, only that I knew I loved it. The title came straight from the lyrics in the vocal chops: "I can make you love me."

"pxcasso" - I was listening to a lot of hip hop and trap music that featured strings, and I wanted to make something like that but in a jersey club style. This track is meant to have a rapper on it. I've written so many different ideas and lyrics for this instrumental, but I'm always unsure of how I would execute it. Would I ever be able to get a microphone and find a quiet place to record it myself? Should I find someone else to do vocals? That answer is still yet to be decided. The title came from two places: what the experience of making it felt like, and what music I was listening to at the time. I honestly felt I had created something cooler and more beautiful than anything I had tried finishing before, and I did it in one night. I felt like I had painted a picture with the beat. The feelings it evoked in me are exactly what I wish to express with a voice someday.

"tag team (demo)" - I love video games, and that's the only way to start this one off. I made this song backwards. Usually I start with the instrumental, then write lyrics, but this time I had the lyrics, melody, and chords before I had a voice or a beat. When I was younger, I discovered Vocaloid through YouTube and was instantly drawn in by the different voices. I watched covers, dance videos, and dug into original Vocaloid and UTAU songs. So when I needed a voice for this track, I knew where to look. I found a program that could render exactly what I had in my head.

When I write songs, I always set the structure first and follow a formula that gives me consistent results. I write best when I tap into my own feelings and memories, and I've always loved video games just as much as music growing up, even when I couldn't afford to play them. With Mortal Kombat on my mind at the time, all I could think was: tag team. The lyrics came easy because I had already been building this concept in my head for a long time. I've always wanted to songwrite for both men and women, so I structured it as a female rapper with a male verse, amplifying that idea of two artists truly tag teaming on a track.

On the production side, I gave myself one rule going in: don't be boring. Don't let a single inch of this track go unproduced. I started by playing a custom kick, and as the vocals ran all the way through, I played along on my keyboard and randomly spiced up the rhythm at different parts to match the groove of the words. I spent months on this song. As I learned more about mixing and mastering, I kept coming back to it, catching my own mistakes, like adding too much reverb or cutting too many lows from the vocals on the EQ. Eventually I landed on a mix that felt quiet but clean, and I decided it was finally time to let it go.

"#trouble" - For a while now I've been deeply in love with amapiano, especially the kind built around hard-hitting log drums or driving synths. I wanted to capture that energy here, and this is one of two tracks I've made in that direction, the other being something I definitely plan to tease or release soon. I wanted something with bass that would knock your eardrums out. I am a sucker for bass, always have been, and that's exactly what I set out to do with this one.

"taiko" - For this one I wanted to make a jersey club track that was more rhythmically complex, with clap placements and beat arrangements that felt a little strange and fun in the best way. When I was working with the vocal chops I had, one word stood out immediately. "Taiko" comes from my memories of playing Taiko no Tatsujin, a game I've been wanting to go back to ever since.

"BLEED4URLUV (jersey club remix)" - Me and this producer connected through Instagram while he was sharing a demo. I listened to Axhill's music and immediately liked his DnB style. I simply asked if I could remix one of his songs for free, and he agreed. I went for a full video game vibe: tons of chops, bit-crushing, whip cracks. The song is fast, almost too fast, and I love the groove that speed creates. My habit of layering house music hats carried over here too, and it added something special to the beat. I wanted the whole thing to feel playful and chaotic from start to finish, like it was pulling you through a wild world, and I think I achieved that.

"what i needed (jersey club)" - I wanted this song to clearly sound like it was sampled from an old school R&B record, without actually sampling one. I went searching for sounds and vocals that matched the sultry mood I was building in concept, piecing together something that had that familiar warmth without borrowing it directly. It's another track I have lyrics for but no voice for yet, one more piece waiting for the right moment to be finished. The title came from what I was feeling, that this was the song whats what I needed to hear and finish to put out, compared to the others I was working on at the time.